Please Stay Little, Just A Little Longer.

There are a whole lot of nights when I wish my Middle Man would sleep through the night. You're 4 years old for Pete's sake. Go. To. Bed!
Then there's nights where he snuggles in with me. The moonlight coming in through the window just outlines the silhouette if his round cheeks, little button nose, & long eyelashes & I can still see my baby. I remember that even though he's so big, almost as big as his 7 year old brother, 4 years old is still little. I pray for time to slow down instead of wishing he'd grow up a little. I stop looking at the clock counting how much sleep I could get if he would just go the sleep &  think about how these moments are fleeting & wish I could stop the clock in this moment forever. I don't want to forget so I try to soak it all in. Studying his sweet face, kissing his little forehead, & holding his little chubby hand. Then I cry as he falls asleep on my chest because, because I'm a Mom & that's what we do. This Mom game is no joke. It's hard, and heartbreaking, and messy. It will break you down & rip your heart out. Then in the next moment it is beautiful, perfect magic. It's miracles, belly laughs, and more joy & pride than you could ever imagine your heart could hold. Tomorrow I'll be exhausted but tonight I'll hold this baby, while there's still a little bit of baby left to hold.