My Husband is a great Dad. He is the outlet for my boys to act like boys. He lets them wrestle & attack him. Shoot him with Nerf Guns. Help saw wood for the wood burner & run the log splitter & all the other "Man" things my Husband does around here. Stuff that makes me have a damn heart attack. Stuff that they would never be allowed to do if they didn't have their Dad. However, he's more rough around the edges. More likely to lose his cool when situations don't go his way. So I'm always preaching to him how our kids hear & see it all & you're teaching them how to be men.
I had just had a conversation with him before we left for town. The kids were all excited about going for an adventure in our new truck. They went & loaded the car seats in the back by themselves & were waiting for us to come out so we could get going. They were trying to get the dog to get in the truck. Instead the dog jumped all over the truck making some scratches. Daddy was pissed. Then he walked by the car & found a big new scratch down the side of the car that "nobody" put there. Dad is beyond pissed now. So there goes the mood for the day if Mommy doesn't run some interference.
Now, a lot of you reading this are Moms. The old saying about "The man is the head of the household." You know how this works. Just like on My Big Fat Greek Wedding. "The Man is the head, but the Woman is the Neck. & we show the head where to turn."
Anyway, I told him what a great Dad he is & that "Your kids are so excited YOU are home. To spend the day with YOU. It was a bad moment. Do not let this ruin our day. Remember your reactions & things you say now are the voice in their head forever." Soon we had it together & were off on our way to town.
Long story longer... I swear there's a point to all this. (plot twist, I end up being the asshole)
So we are in Farm & Fleet & had to get several bags of water softener salt. John was scooting them to the edge so Will & Jake could each take an end & lift them on to one of those flat carts. They love to help with stuff like this & he was being beyond patient with them. I was thinking "Good thing I had that talk with my Hubby. Look how well this all going." Oh for fuck sake Mandy, GET OVER YOURSELF! Am I right? In the middle of this there was an Ol' Farmer next to us really struggling to lift some bales of twine in to his cart. In true John style, my Husband dropped what he was doing & ran over to help him. We finished our shopping & headed to the front. The kids were restless, so I took them to the truck while John checked out.
John had parked almost out to the very edge of the parking lot. There were at least 20 spaces around him. A truck was parked directly behind him, about 3 inches from our bumper. As I see this I think outloud "Really, you couldn't park in any of the 50 other spaces out here? We're not even going to be able to open the tailgate to load our stuff!" (Little Ears...) I stick the boys in the bed of the truck to wait for Daddy so they can help load. The man in the truck behind us comes out before John. This is where the Little Ears part comes in... Jake immediately says "Ummm... My Daddy is coming out with a bunch of stuff & it would be nice to be able to open our tailgate. Why didn't you park someplace else?" Me "Jake!" Jake "What Mommy? You said he could have parked anywhere but here." Ugh... My kid was just rude AF & I could only blame myself. Little Ears...
John comes out after this & as he's loading our stuff in to our truck he says "Just a second" & quickly walks away. I see the same man that John helped inside the store heading out to his truck. John hurried over to help him load up. My kids asked a bunch of questions "Mommy Who is that Man?" "How does Daddy know him?" "Why is he helping a stranger." I told them "Because Daddy is kind & good. Because when somebody needs help we give without question. Because when we have the opportunity to be a blessing to somebody, we need to do so." Little Eyes...
Our kids are always listening & watching. Today my Husband showed our boys how to be Good Humans by his actions & I showed them how to be Assholes by my words. God likes to put me in check like this from time to time. Making my faults glaringly obvious after I've called my Husband out on his. Today I was definitely out parented. Tomorrow I will do better.
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