Me On The Other Side

Every year, on this day, this memory pops up on Facebook. It floods me with so many emotions. It knocks the wind out me with the memory of where I was at this time & fills me with pride at how far I've come since then. In this picture you see me showing off a new do. When I look at this picture I see the darkest point of my life. I see grey skin & dull eyes. I see sadness. I see anger. I see hopelessness. I see despair & desperation. I see the trenches of postartum depression. I see a 2 year battle that was worsened by a miscarriage months prior. I see Mother morning her baby for a 2nd time as she should have given birth a few days before. You see a new hair do. I see someone trying change something. To look in the mirror and see anything besides grey. Some kind of life still in there. Some kind of joy. But, there was still nothing. My sparkle was gone. My Marriage was failing. My kids were anxious. My family & the people I loved most didn't understand. They thought "Mandy's turned in to a bitch since she had kids." I told myself "This is normal. This is how it is with little ones." Tired, stressed, on edge ...
2 weeks later, the bottom would drop out. I would hit my rock bottom. It was a "Bring me to Jesus moment". One that I may share the details of one day, but I'm not ready for that yet... The only way to go from rock bottom is up. I found Jesus again. I found myself again. My Husband got his wife back. My kids got their Mom back. Sometimes the guilt & sadness of those 2 years still brings me to my knees, but I'm so proud of the work I've done on myself since & so grateful for God's Mercy & Grace giving me another chance at this life.
I am fully aware of how blessed we that are my rock bottom didn't leave my children without a Mother. If you know someone who just doesn't seem the same after having a baby. Even 2 years down the road. Talk to them. Check on them. Show them you care. No Mother wants to admit she needs help. That she can't do it all alone. If you've had a baby & you're feeling the way I felt. Get help. Please. You are not alone. You are loved. Your family needs you here & healthy. I promise you, this isn't just how it is parenting littles. There is still life & beauty & joy to be had. You can get your sparkle back.
Blessings from the other side,
Mandy

Old AF & Loving Every Minute Of It

Last night we had a reunion with a group of our old party crew from our 20's.  These are girls that we drank & danced with all night.  We'd pregame, close down the bars, & then find the after party.  Those were the days right?

As I was getting ready to meet the girls for dinner at 6:30 I was thinking about how much things had changed from 20 years ago when we were prepping to head out.  

I was putting on my makeup & plucked 2 grey hairs from my eyebrow.  I thought of how we'd be getting ready together.  Having some drinks while putting on our makeup. Listening to some good 90s-2000s Hip Hop & talking about which guys we hoped to run into.  Last night I was leaving my favorite guys, putting on the comfortable shoes over the cuter ones,  listening to baby shark in the background & wanted to be sure to be out the door by 5:45. 

20 years ago we wouldn't have eaten anything until the bar closed. We'd binge on McDonalds or the 24 hour diner, while we talked about everything that happened that night.  Analyzing every action "that guy" made & laughing about the "fucking bitches". Last night we spent 2 hours at dinner.  We ordered healthy meals.  Talked about everything from the last 20 years. Our lifestyle changes, our babies, our spouses, our jobs.  If the "we" from 20 years ago had been there, we'd have been shaking our damn heads & figuring out a ways to get the fuck out of there.

We headed to the first bar about 8:30.  They sat my first drink in front of me in solo cup.  I believe my exact words were "Oh.  A solo cup.  You don't get that everyday."  Mandy...  Snooty Much?  The Mandy from 20 years ago  rolledh eyes so fucking far back in to her head she could see her brain.  20 years ago Mandy would have just asked for a bottle of beer.  She wouldn't have given a fuck if her "Club Soda & Titos With Lemon & Lime Wedges" was in a glass glass.  Come. On. But, after a couple drinks & the DJ started with 90's - 00's Hip Hop I loosened up & pulled the stick outta my ass.  For awhile anyway...  There weren't many in the bar, as it was still old people hours, but we were still having a blast.  

We went around to a few other bars, but there was no dancing going on, so we came back to the first bar for the DJ.  Like I said, he was awesome, & playing all of our favorites.  Well when we came back it was later.  I think around midnight.  No longer old people hours so we should fit right in, right?  Wrong.  SO WRONG.  I don't know what happened.  It's all a bit of a blur but there was so much humping.  Humping the floor, humping speakers, humping, upon humping.  I think it was supposed to be dancing but everywhere you looked there were butt cheeks flapping.  At one point some 20 something guy took a group pic for us.  I said "Do we look like a bunch of MILF's?"  He laughed.  It was at this moment I came to the conclusion that we are the Old People now.  

I remembered that 20 years ago we didn't go out until later because before 10 was Old People hour.  It was too quiet & they played Old People music.  When we liked the music at this bar when we were there at 8:30, it was because WE ARE THE OLD PEOPLE! WTF!? 

After watching the train wreck that was going on it wasn't long before we decided to call it a night.   I came home & snuggled in bed with my Hubby & of course 2 of my little ones.  Thankful for this life & that I'm not stuck where I was 20 years ago.   I slept with a happy heart.  That is until I got worken up by charlie horses in my thighs from dancing & had to get up & drink some Magnesium.  Again, because I'm Old AF.
Thinking back on it all today, I am SO thankful to be the old people.  I am so thankful for the time with these girls last night & 20 years ago.  I  thought going out last night was about reliving our glory days, but it really was about reconnecting with these beautiful amazing women.  I could have sat and talked and LAUGHED with these girls for the entire night.  They've always made me laugh until my face hurts.  All we've been through the last 20 years...  We'd gone from some having surprise babies in their teens, to some of us having surprise babies in our 40s.  We've lost parents, we've lost friends, we've lost babies.  We've watched some of our kids fight for their lives, we've lost ourselves pouring every ounce of ourselves into those we love & we've all come out of it as these "No Fucks Left" 40 Year Olds (credit to Beth K for this term).  Secure in ourselves.  Unapologetic for doing what makes us happy & whats best for our family.  It wasn't the party I missed. It was those smiling faces.  These strong, kind, smart, funny, amazing women. I need them & all the other women like them that God has graced my life with during this crazy journey more than they could ever know.  I cannot wait til next time with these girls.  Maybe at a spa though, or at least someplace with much less butt flapping. 

Jalepeno Popper Palmini Pasta or Faux-Tato Soup

Crisp 6 Pieces Of Bacon & Chop (or as many as you want.)
Sautee
1 Chopped Onion
3+ Chopped Cloves Garlic
8+ Chopped Jalepenos
Add
1 Block Cream Cheese
1/2 Cup Heavy Cream
2 1/2 Cups Nut Milk
Salt
Pepper
Garlic & Onion Powders
Cayenne or Cajun Seasoning if you like it spicy!
Simmer

If making as a side devide Cream Cheese, Cream, & Milk in half.
Add Palmini

If making as a meal, add 1 Lb of Cooked Sausage it Chicken & Palmini

If making Faux-Tato Soup add steamed Cauliflower or Radishes.

No Sugar Cookies & Icing

I adjusted my Mom's Sugar Cookies that I grew up eating & they did not disappoint! Soft & Sweet & SO GOOD!

Combine Dry Ingredients

1/3 Cup Coconut Flour

2/3 Cup Almond Flour

1/3 Cup Splenda Natural

1/4 Cup Splenda Naturals Powdered

1/2 tsp Baking Soda

1/2 tsp Cream Of Tartar

1/2 tsp Baking Powder

Dash Of Salt

1/2 tsp xantham gum

Then Add Wet Ingredients

1 Stick Of Butter, Melted

1 Large Egg

1 Tsp Vanilla

1 Tbsp Apple Cider Vinegar

Let sit for a minute for the Xantham Gum to firm a little.

This will make drop cookies.

If you want to roll them out, take another 1/3 Cup Almond Flour. Add about half to the dough. Sprinkle some on parchments paper  & on top of dough to roll out. 

Roll a little less than 1/4 inch thick.

Bake on greased stone or cookie sheet.

350 10-12 min

Til Just Browning

Frosting

1/2 Stick Butter, Softened

4 oz Cream Cheese, Softened

1/4 Cup Splenda Naturals, Powdered

Dash Of Vanilla

Drizzle in a little Whipping Cream while blending.

Add Food Coloring if desired

Pipe on to cookies, or microwave a bit to pour on. 

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Okra-ccino

1 Cup Okra
And
1 Cup Almond or Cashew Milk
Blended to Oblivion
Add
A Handful Of Ice
1 oz Cream Cheese
1 Tbsp Butter
1 Tbsp Splenda Naturals
Dash Of Pink Salt
Dash Of Vanilla Extract
Dash Of Blackstrap Molasses or Caramel Extract
A little Heavy Cream
A small handful of Lily's Chocolate Chips
Blend & slowly top with Cashew Milk to desired thickness

Who Run The World!? (A tribute to all the Girls I've loved before...)

GIRLS!  You know how some sayings or phrases just kinda hit ya like a punch in the gut.  Or like nails on a chalkboard?  This is one of those for me...  We all know people who say or post things to the effect of "I only hang out with Boys because Girls are too much drama."  Ummm...  Exsqueeze Me?  Baking Powder?  Back. That. Truck. Up.  This makes me cringe & breaks my heart all at the same time.
Now this is not a Man Hating article.  My love for the opposite sex is deep & true.  I live with a penis bearing, testosterone filled army. 3/4 of which I created my self.  I love so many things about the Male Species, but that is for another Blog.
As a Female, there is no greater team you can have by your side than the women that surround you. These are your teachers, your therapists, your life partners, your soul mates.  Most of us have girlfriends that have been by our side longer than the men in our lives.
I have been so blessed to be raised & surrounded by some of the strongest most amazing women in the world.  No bullshit women who tell it like it is & don't sugar coat.  Their hearts are huge & they are brutally honest at the same time.
My Maternal Grandmother lived to 99 years old, spend the majority of those 99 years on her own gardening, canning, & doing yard work.  She took pride in her independence.
My Mother, a Fighter & Survivor, can do anything from cooking, to gardening, to building, to construction, to art, to sewing, canning, to butchering...  Her survival skills are fierce.  I have no doubt she will survive any kind of apocalypse.  Her love for her family is matched only by her feisty spirit.
My Sister is a pillar of strength & grace.  She has stood toe to toe with Satan himself & came out victorious.  She stood with her son as he battled cancer.  She would fast when he couldn't eat with treatments.  That would sometimes mean weeks without food.  She spent countless nights in a hospital putting her childs life in the hands of God & his Doctors never once losing faith.  Never once doubting the power His will.  She faces every issue with you have 5 minutes to breakdown, then you get moving on the solution.
All of my Aunts Maternal & Paternal are a force to be reckoned with with.  Most are wives with loving Husbands, but not one of them as ever needed a man to survive.  They all have the capability to do it on their own.  My Paternal Aunts have shown this amazing confidence.  To genuinely have no concern for what others think of you.  To live your life your way.  To sing at the top of your lungs & dance as if nobody is watching.  To face what life hands you with a smile because there is always joy to be found.  My Maternal Aunts have shown to work hard & take pride in it.  They never half ass anything.  They do it all & make it look easy.
My Cousins.  My Ride or Die Bitches.  They are my biggest support.  They have my back.  Together we can stand against anything.  They share in my joy with every success & they will always hold me as I cry with my failures & heartbreaks. They also tell me straight up if I'm being a jackass. It's a balance & they do it perfectly.
The Friends I've had for 1 year, to 40 years, & every stage in between. They have overcome abusive childhoods, abusive relationships, losing a Husband to death or prison, even their own felonies.  They have worked 3 jobs to provide for their kids.  They have gone to college & gotten their degrees in their 30's, while working nights & taking care of their kids during the day.  They have taken care of their dying parents & friends.  They have taken care of a friends family when they've passed away.  They've lost children & committed their lives to loving every child that knows them as if they are their own.  They have given the coat off their back to someone in need.  They raise money for organizations that they believe in.  They will drop whatever they are doing in a heartbeat if you need them.  They will pick your kids up from school or bring you meals when you've had a baby.  They will listen without judgement.  They will cheer you on.  They will cry with you.  They feel you pain & joy as if it's their own.  They will tell you when your kid is being an asshole while sharing that they understand because theirs can be too.
Every single one of the women in my life are honest.  None of them mince words.  They all love fiercely & unconditionally.
It breaks my heart when women say "I only hang out with Men" because they are missing out on all of this.  There is nothing special about me to have these kinds of women around me.  Look at the women who surround you.  Think about their stories.  Think about what they've all been through.  Don't deny yourself the power of having a "Girl Team" because you've encountered a few Mean Girls.  By all means say Goodbye to the ones who don't bring your soul joy, but be sure to hold on tight to the ones that do.  You need them more than you know.

Blessings!
Mandy

Morning Zinger: Iced Coffee Alternative

A little switch up to your morning Iced Coffee Routine! Zinger Teas have a ton of flavor & they are Delicious!

1 - 1 1/2 Cup Brewed, Sweetened, & Cooled Zinger Tea
Poured over Ice
1/2-1 Cup Nut Milk
Dash Of Cream

The Most Questionable Things I've Ever Said Or Done Have Been After A Few Busch Lights (I Stand With Carson King)

One time when my son was a toddler, he whipped his penis out in front of a bunch of people and said "LOOK AT MY PENIS!".   Don't worry.  I've assured him that he is a sexual predator & will never be anything other than that.  I've told him please do not try to do big things when you're a grown up.  DO NOT try to help anyone.  Because you did this, you cannot do good things when you're grown.  I know you are young & your brain is still developing.  You don't know that as an adult this won't still be funny, but you did it. Too bad.
Does this sound ridiculous?

I would normally not comment on controversy like this, but I was instantly emotionally involved in the Carson King Story.  Having kids that depend on donations from kind people for medical treatments to save their lives hits really close to home.  My Nephews life was saved due to people like Carson.  This kid, yes 23 is still a kid, deciding to donate all of this money to help sick little Hero's made him a Hero himself.  He did not have to donate a dime.  That was his money.  I'm sure a whole lot of 20 somethings would not have made the same decision he did.  He took this joke & turned it in to magic.  Just think how many lives he will save with this donation.  Just think how many families will get to hold their little ones for years to come due to his kindness & generosity.

Enter a Greedy Newspaper...  To them none of this matters.  What mattered to them was selling Newspapers.  They found questionable posts from from when Carson was 16.  SIXTEEN.  For. The. Love. Of. God.  Please tell me of your teenage perfection.  How did you manage to never do anything questionable as a teenager, a CHILD.  They did not need to say a word about this.  They chalked it up to a thorough background check.  I call BULLSHIT.  This had nothing to do with the story.  Their attempt to make Carsons teenage poor judgement more important than his actions of today made many of us love him more.

I am actually shocked at Busch cutting ties with him.  They could have used this as an opportunity to show people grow up & change.  Your teen years & childhood don't define you.  We have all said things that were in poor taste, hurtful, or even mean.

In fact just as many or you reading this, the most questionable things I've said or done in my life have been after a few too many Busch Lights.  Perhaps we should cut ties with them due to their contributions to poor decisions.

Blessings!
Mandy

Copycat Hamburger Helper

Sautee...
1 Lb of Browned Ground Meat
1 chopped Onion
3 Garlic Cloves
Add...
1 Can Of Palmini Cut in 1 inch pieces
Melt in...
2 oz of Cream Cheese
1-2 Cups Cheddar Cheese or cheese of choice
A little Heavy Cream to you desired creaminess.
Season With...
Garlic Powder, Onion Powder, Salt, Pepper, & Paprika.
Add a little Hot Sauce for extra spice!
Enjoy!

If "Old Town Road" was written by Mom's

Yeah, I'm gonna take my ass to the Target store.
I'm gonna shop til I can't no more.
I'm gonna take my ass to the Target store.
I'm gonna shop til I can't no more.

I got no babies in the back.
I left em home with Dad
Leggings matte black.
Got the "Boy Mom" shirt to match.
Ridin in the Mini Van
You say you never can.
You can make your jokes all day.
Stow & Go's the only way.

No one here needin me for nothin.
Don't ask me for nothin.
No one here needin me for nothin.
Don't ask me for nothin.

Starbucks was the first matter.
Now it's weighin on my bladder.
Missin on my Babies,
But Mama needs a breaky.
My life ain't like no movie,
Feedin babies with my Boobies.
Spots on my top from baby boogie's,
Cheerios stuck to my booty.

No one here needin me for nothin.
Don't ask me for nothin.
No one here needin me for nothin.
Don't ask me for nothin.

Yeah, I'm gonna take my ass to the Target store.
I'm gonna shop til I can't no more.
I'm gonna take my ass to the Target store.
I'm gonna shop til I can't no more.

Saturday, Soccer Games
Wednesday, Football
Spendin so much money
On all these sports Y'all

Baby's gotta have their favorite snacks,
And make em crunchy.
Ridin down to Wal-Mart
In my Chrysler Town & Country.

Got so much stress,
Wanna take a nap,
But somebody's gotta clean up
All their crap.

Wish I could roll on back to That Target Store.
I'm gonna shop til I can't no more.

Snow Cone Syrup or Anything Fruit Syrup

Boil...
3/4 of water
2 Tbsp Stevia/Erithritol Blend
4 small Strawberries or Fruit Of Choice
Half a lemon
Once soft, Mash up the berries & lemons with a potato masher
Let it down cool down & thicken a bit.
Then strain in to a mason jar & stick in the fridge to cool.

Zapple Crisp For One : Air Fryer

***Filling***
1 zucchini peeled & seeds removed
2-2.5 Tbsp Splenda Naturals
2 Tbsp Butter
Dash of Lemon Extract
Heavy Dash of Vanilla
Heavy Dash of Black Strap Molasses
Good amount of cinnamon
Cook all ingredients in a sauce pan until zucchini is cooked but not mushy.
Little Xantham Gum to thicken if needed
You could Add a dash of apple extract too.

***Topping***
(I didn't measure)
Some Nut Flour Blend
Chopped Pecans
Splenda Naturals
2 Tbsp melted Butter
Mix together & sprinkle on top

Baked in air fryer. 375 4 min.

Amazing warm with fresh whipped cream on top!

White Gravy (Great For Biscuits And Gravy or Shit On A Shingle)

8oz cauliflower
1/3 cup okra
1/2 cup half & half
1 1/2 Tbsp butter
Let all this simmer until the veggies are tender.
Put it all in a vented blender & blend, slowly drizzling in chicken broth until It's nice & creamy.
Mineral Salt & Pepper to taste (lots)

Mexican Stuffed Peppers

4 Bell Peppers Halved & Seeded (give or take depending on size.)
1 PKG Cauliflower Rice, Sauteed with Fresh Onion & Fresh Garlic
1 Lb of Ground Meat, Browned & Seasoned With Onion Powder, Garlic Powder, Salt, Pepper, Cumin, Paprika, Chili Powder, & Cayenne To Taste
1 Can Of Rotel Style Tomatoes & Chilis, Drained
4 oz of Cream Cheese
1 PKG of Shredded Meican Cheese

Combine all ingredients except for Bell Peppers & Shredded Cheese in a Pan & heat through until Cream Cheese is Melted.
Fill Peppers with this mixture & place on a cookie sheet or cake pan.
Bake at 350 for 30 min
Top with cheese & bake until the cheese is melted.
Eat them like this or top with a little Guac & Sour Cream!
Enjoy!

Mashed Cauliflower Faux-Tatos, Do's & Dont's

ROAST YOUR CAULIFLOWER!!!!
Do not boil or steam it. You want to remove moisture. Roast in the Oven or Air Fryer until Brown & Can Poke With A Fork.

Mash, Blend, Or Mix With A Little Butter & Seasonings until you get your desired mashed potato consistency.

DO NOT ADD LIQUID LIKE MILK OR CREAM. It does not take much to make it runny.

This will be your base. From here you can season as you please.

I like to add Garlic Powder, Onion Powder, Pink Salt, Pepper, A Little Cream Cheese, Shredded Cheese, & maybe a little Sour Cream for a Garlic Cheesy Faux-Tato.

Enjoy!

Apple Cider Doughnuts or Air Fried Doughnut Holes or Bread

Combine In Blender...

1 Small Apple Peeled & Cored Pureed with

2 Eggs

1/4 Cup Almond Milk

1 tsp Vanilla

1-3 tsp Cinnamon or Apple Pie Spice (to your preference, but I like 1 best)

Dash Of Pink Salt

1 tsp Baking Powder

1 tsp Baking Soda

1/4 tsp Xantham Gum

1/4 Cup Splenda Naturals

Pour In To A Bowl & Stir In...

1 Tbsp Apple Cider Vinegar

This Will Start To Kind Of Foam

Fold In Gently...

1 Cup Mandy's Baking Blend

If too wet add a bit more Mandy's Baking Blend. Don't get it too dry though.

Put in Muffin Tin or Pipe In To Doughnut Pan. 

Bake at 350 10-12 Min

Coat With Melted Butter

& Dip In Cinnamon & "Sugar"

Or Top With Caramel & Pecans

FOR DOUGHNUT HOLES

Let the dough firm up in the fridge for a bit.

Put a little oil on your hands & roll in to balls

Air Fry at 350 8-10 minutes

Roll in Melted Butter & then Blended Cinnamon & "Sugar"

Caramel Pecan Bread

Mix Dough & put in greased bread pan

Combine.. 

2 Tbsp soft butter

Dash Black Strap Molasses

1 Tbsp Splenda Naturals

A little Cinnamon

1/3 Cup Chopped Pecans

Sprinkle/Spread On Top Of Dough

Bake at 350 20-25 min

Everything But The Kitchen Sink/No Brainer Hash

This is a Go To No Brainer Meal when I just don't know what to make for dinner.

Chunk A Little Of Every Veggie You Have In Your Fridge
Sautee
Add Meat of Choice or Scrambled Eggs
Season

Pictured...
Onion, Garlic, Zucchini, Radishes, & Mushrooms Sauteed in Avocado Oil.
Browned Ground Beef
Seasoned with
Garlic Powder, Onion Powder, Pink Salt, Pepper, Cayenne, & Hot Sauce.

Caramel Pecan Pumpkin Spice Frappe

Blend...

1/2 Cup Brewed & Chilled Great Value Caramel Creme Coffee or Coffee Of Choice With A Dash Of Caramel Extract.
1/4 Cup Pumpkin
1/3 Cup Almond Milk
1-2 Tbsp Heavy Cream
Dash of Pink Salt, Pumpkin Pie Spice, & Vanilla Extract
Splenda Naturals or Sweetener Of Choice To Taste
Handful Of Ice

Whipped Topping...
Heavy Cream
Sweetener
Cinnamon or Pumpkin Pie Spice
Vanilla Extract

Caramel Sauce Of Choice. I love the one from All Day I Dream About Food

Caramel Pecan Pumpkin Torte

"CAKE"
4 Tbsp Melted Butter
1/2 Cup Birch Xylitol
3 eggs
1 cup canned 100% Pumpkin (may cut this back a bit next time...)
2 tsp Vanilla
1/3 Cup Coconut Flour
1/3 Cup Almond Flour
1 tsp Baking Soda
1 tsp salt
1 heaping tsp Pumpkin Pie Spice
***I put it in an 8 inch round pan sprayed with olive oil, but would do a 6 or 7 inch next time to have the layers a bit thicker.  It took around 35 minutes at 350.  Let it cool all the way.

"FILLING/TOPPING"
4 oz Cream Cheese
1/2 Cup Birch Xylitol Powdered (I but mine in my Magic Bullet)
1/2 tsp Pumpkin Pie Spice
1 Cup Heavy Cream, Whipped
***Blend together the 1st 3 ingredients, & fold in the Whipped Cream.

For the Caramel Sauce I used...
http://pin.it/C7BWzJZ
It is amazing, but you can use whatever your favorite is!

So you slice your Cake horizontally.  Layer Cake, Filling, Cake, Filling. Be careful when you put the top on layer of cake on as I broke mine some...
Top with Pecans & either drizzle the whole cake or each individual piece with caramel sauce. Store in the fridge. Enjoy!

Big Batch Loaded Bacon Cheeseburger Soup

2-3 Lbs Ground Beef or Meat of your choice Browned with
1 Onion, Chopped
3-5 Garlic Cloves, Pressed
Burger Seasoning Of Choice, I like Spicy Montreal Steak Seasoning

1 Pkg Cream Cheese Melted in to Browned Burger Mixture

1 Bag, Steam In Bag Cauliflower, Steamed.  Blended in Blender on High With
1 Box Of Bone Broth (Chicken or Beef)
Pour Bone Broth & Cauliflower Mixture In With Meat Meat Mixture & Simmer Until Good & Hot.

1 12oz Package Of Bacon, Cooked Crisp, Cooled, & Chopped, Added To Soup

1 Bag of Mexican Blend or Colby Jack Cheese, Melted In To Soup.  Stirring Until Melted.

Season With...
Horse Radish Mustard
Hot Sauce or Siracha
Garlic Powder
Onion Powder
Fresh Ground Black Pepper
Pink Salt
Paprika
Cayenne Pepper
Tastefully Simple Onion Onion & Garlic Garlic
(Or any seasonings of Choice.  We like ours Spicy)

Let Simmer or Throw In Crockpot To Keep Warm Until Ready To Eat.
Garnish With Your Favorite Burger Toppings.
I used Chopped Lettuce, Tomato, Pickle, Onion, & a Dollop Of Dukes Mayo

Air Fryer Any Pepper Poppers

8 Peppers (Jalapenos, Banana, Mini Bell) cut in half long ways & seeds removed
1 PKG of Bacon
1 PKG Cream Cheese, softened
1 Cup Shredded Mozzarella
1 Tbsp each Tastefully Simple Onion Onion & Garlic Garlic.
A little Pink Salt
***Add a dash of hot sauce if you like extra spice***
(You coulda season with Salt,
Pepper, Garlic Powder, Onion Powder.)

Combine all ingredients except Jalapenos & bacon.
Let mixture sit 1/2 hour to over night.
Fill the Jalapenos with the Cheese Mixture.
Wrap the Jalapenos in a full slice of Bacon. (I tried to be frugal & cut mine in half. The bacon shrunk leaving the cheese exposure & made a big ol mess )
Put them in the air fryer & cook at the Bacon setting.

That Kid

Today started with tears.  Mine.  That Kid was in my bed.  He wakes up full of energy.  You can hear the announcer say "LET'S GET READY TO RUMMMMMMMMMBLLLLLLLE!" As soon as his eyes open.  He's playing around & I get a donkey kick to the fucking jaw before I even leave the bed. He didn't mean to, but it hurt like Hell none the less.  I yell to That Kid "GET OUT OF MY ROOM! NOW!"  I hear him saying "I'm Sowwy Mommy." I look up to see his eyes welling up with tears as he leaves the room.  I put my head down & cry.  I cry because it physically hurt & because I think "Here we go again.  It's going to be one of those days.  I'm waking up already defeated."  I take a few breaths & walk out of the bedroom without wiping my tears.  He needs to see that his physical actions can hurt someone.  His sweet voice says "Take two deep breaths & calm down Mommy. I'm weawwy sowwy Mommy"  This is my voice coming out of his little mouth & it makes me smile.  I explain yet again thinking about our actions & making good choices.  He agrees & says he understands.  I tell him I love him & ask what he wants for breakfast.  I send him off to play with hug while I start cooking. We're back to good.

I start making breakfast & I hear a knocking sound from the living room.  I walk in to see him taking one of Daddys hammers to the drywall.  The sharp side.  The same hammer I took away from him yesterday telling him to not to touch them again without Daddy.   I yell to That Kid "STOP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"  "IT'S DEMO DAY, MOMMY!!!"  What. The. Fuck.  Thanks Chip Gaines!  All the screening we do on the TV & Electronics & Fixer Upper Button Hooks us. That. Kid.

This isn't every day.  Today is just one of "those days".  Now, there's never a day that he isn't with the bullshit.  But some days are just much more full of shit than others.  That Kid.  We all have one, Right?  Maybe not quite to the degree of mine, but we all have one.  If you think you don't you are either blind or only have one child.  You can't judge your parenting by the first one.  That first one is magic.  They aim to please.  Mine even slept through the night at 3 days old.  I was always rested & happy & looking good.   I thought we were the best parents in the world when we only had one.  I would judge your shitty parenting & naughty kids like no other.  Don't worry, God decided knock me off of my high horse by blessing me with That Kid.  Not just knock me off my high horse.  He took the whole damn horse away along with any bit of pride or sanity I had left when he gave me That Kid.

That Kid is loud.
That Kid can't sit still. He has energy coming out his ears.
That Kid is messy.  He can't eat or play outside without getting covered in mess.
That kid is rough.
That Kid can be defiant.
That Kid can ignore you like no other.
That Kid loves to fight, hit, kick & wrestle & he does it with a smile on his face.
Infact That Kid always has a smile on his face.
That Kid is Happy.
That Kid Loves Life.
That Kid Loves His Family & Will Defend Them Fiercely.
That Kid Is Funny.  HILARIOUS!  You never know with will come out of That Kids Mouth.
That Kid Will Make You Laugh Until You Cry.
That Kid Is A Snuggler.
That Kid Loves Hugs, Kisses, & I Love Yous.
That Kid Is Passionate.  He does everything with his Whole Heart.  Playing, Fighting, Wrestling, Having A Meltdown, Loving.
That Kid Feels Everything Deeply.
That Kid Forgives.  He loves you unconditionally.
That Kid Says Please & Thank You.
That Kid Loves Bad Words & Loves To Praise Jesus In The Next Breath.
That Kid Adores His Mommy & Thinks His Daddy Hung The Moon.
That Kid Loves Man Stuff & Is Always His Daddys Shadow.
That Kid Is Smart.  If you teach That kid anything about Farming, Or Mechanics, Or Construction, any "Man Stuff" he will remember it word for word.
That Kid is always up for a adventure.  No matter where you're going or what you're doing he wants to Help or Go With.
That Kid is MAGIC.
That Kid changed my life.  He humbled me. He made me a better parent.  He made me learn to let go.
Let go of my fears.  Let go of my rules.  Let go of my plan.  Let go of what I thought parenting had to be.
That Kid has taught me to appreciate the great times & hold on through the rough times.
That Kid has my heart forever.
That Kid is going to be something Amazing.
That Kids Spirit & Drive is something I pray will never change.  I pray God will lead me direct all of the Magic that is That Kid to the Greater Good.
The days are long, but years are short...  Calling some of these days long, is an understatement. Yet I wouldn't change That Kid for the world.
Except for the Donkey Kicks to face that is.  That shits not gonna fly.  Mamma still runs this Bitch.

Blessings,
Mandy

Fauxt-Meal Cookies

1/4 Cup Chia Seeds Saoked in
1/2 Cup Almond Milk For 10 Min.
Add 2 Tbsp Melted Butter
2 Eggs
6 Tbsp Splenda Naturals
1/2 Tsps Vanilla & Caramel Extracts
1 Tsp Cinnamon
1/2 Tsp Blackstrap Molasses
1 Tsp Aluminum Free Baking Powder
1/4 Cup Ground Flax
1/4 Cup Mandy's Baking Blend
1/2 Cup Chopped Pecans
1/2 Cup Lily's Chocolate Chips

Bake at 350
Big Cookie Scoop 15 Min
Small Cookie Scoop 10 Min
Be sure to flatten scoops a lot before baking. The raise quite a bit. Next time I make them I'll try cutting back the Baking Powder to 1/2.

Pumpkin Waffles With Caramel Pecan Topping

2 eggs
1 tbsp Vanilla
1/4 Cup Splenda Naturals
1 tsp baking powder
1/8 tsp salt
2 tsp pumpkin pie spice
1/3 cup pumpkin
3/4 cup mandys baking blend
2 tbsp oil
add water until the right texture.

Then this is the caramel sauce.  It's AMAZING.  You need to save this recipe.
http://alldayidreamaboutfood.com/2014/10/the-best-low-carb-caramel-sauce.html

Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup Shake!

Chocolate PB Shake
1Tbsp Cocoa
1Tbsp Peanut Flour or 2 Tbsp Peanut Butter
3 Pkts Aldi Stevia
1/2 capful of Vanilla Ext
1/2 capful of Caramel Ext
2 Tbs Cream
1 Cup Cashew Milk
Ice
Throw all this in the blender
Then stir in chunks of frozen PB Cup Fudge

http://alldayidreamaboutfood.com/2014/11/easy-low-carb-chocolate-peanut-butter-cup-fudge.html

Top with fresh whipped cream & some more pieces of Fudge.
This is delicious without the fudge as well.

Mandy! Watchu Doin Gurrrrrl?! (The Mandy Plan)

The actual answer "Fuck, I don't know.  Winging it mostly."  People having been asking for more details of the When, What, Where's & Hows of the way I eat.  "Are you Keto?  Are you Wheatbelly?  Are you Trim Healthy Mama?"  The answer is Yes... And No.  Super helpful, right? Here's the thing, I am Low Carb, Sugar Free, & Grain Free.  I have taken aspects of all these eating plans, along with Intermittent Fasting & Portion Control and created what works for Me.  If following certain plan to a T, is what works for you.  That is Awesome.  I am cheering you on! The good news is, if you follow one of those plans, my recipes won't derail you.  They should be able to fit in there someplace. But, I have tried enough diets to know what does & doesn't work for me, and what I am and am not capable of sticking to.  So, here are some of My Rules for My Way Of Eating.

1.  I never eat Sugar or Grains.  Period.  I make no exception to this rule.  Ever.  I look at every label on every item I put in to my mouth.  The only time I do not look at label is if we are out to dinner.  At that time I will make the best logical choice that I can assume would fall in to my Way Of Eating.  For instance, if I eat Pizza Topping.  I don't know whats in The Sauce or The Meat.  Or I may eat a salad no knowing 100% what's in the dressing.  But, I'm making the best choice I can in the moment.

2.  I only use Stevia or Erithritol for Sweetener.  I think Monkfruit would be OK too.  I use nothing else.  My one guilty pleasure would be a Diet Pepsi once or twice a month if we are out for dinner.  The Sweetener in Diet Soda is poison & awful for you.  If you asked me if you should drink Diet Soda, I would tell you unequivocally NO.  But, I like it once in awhile.  I'm not perfect.  Shoot me.

3. I cannot eat a Super High Fat Diet.  Now I don't shy away from fat.  I cook with Avocado Oil.  I use Real Butter & Full Fat Dairy.  But I cannot eat a Shit Ton of Fat.  Especially Animal Fat.  It will have me puking & pooping at the same time.  I am not exaggerating.  See my Bone Broth Fast Blog.  It isn't pretty...
https://mandyatkinson.blogspot.com/2019/08/bone-broth-fasting-holy-shit-literally.html

4.  I rarely eat those Super Cheesy Recipes.  You know the Keto ones where you're making breads, pancakes, whatever that are 90% Cheese & Cream Cheese.  I cannot lose weight eating much of those.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my Cheese!  I just won't make it a huge portion of a meal.

5.  I don't measure anything.  When I create a recipe I make sure the ingredients I'm using are Low Carb, Grain Free, & Sugar Free.  But, I do not measure out my portions (I just eyeball them for how much room they are taking up on my plate.  I always use a small plate as well.) or count my carbs to an exact number.  I just know that the foods I'm eating fall in to my Way Of Eating.  I load up on all the Veggies & Meat I want.  I make sure my scoop of Cottage Cheese or Dash Of Heavy Whipping Cream in my Coffee isn't enormous & I do limit my fruit consumption.  Berries, I don't watch too close, but if I'm eating an actual piece of fruit, I'll usually eat half.

6.  I intermittent fast all but maybe 2-4 days a month, when I'll have breakfast with my Family.  I'll have a Cup of Coffee in the morning, limiting the calories in what I add to it, to under 50.  Again, I eyeball this.  I don't measure.   I'll start eating anywhere between noon & 2pm, and I always try to be done before 7.  I usually on eat two meals.  Once in awhile I'll have a snack in between.

7.  I drink 1 serving of Kombucha almost every day. Usually around 3pm.  I don't drink any Kombucha that the label shows a Sugar Content over 8 grams.  Yes, they say that the bacteria eats the Sugar, but I don't fully trust it.  So I just watch that number a little to be safe.

8.  I drink Natural Calm for Magnesium.  That stuff is amazing.  It's great for leg cramps, but also mood boosting.  I don't know the Whys & Hows of it.  I just know I like it.

9.  I rarely drink alcohol.  I'm talking one drink every 2-3 months.  I know my body will hold on to that weight & bloat & not want to let it go for at least a week.  It's not worth it to me.

This is all I can think of for now.  Again, I am not a Dr, Health Coach, or Health Care Professional. I'm just a Gal who's tried about everything & finally figured out what works for my body.   Take it for what it's worth.

Blessings!
Mandy

Copycat Pumpkin Pie Blizzrd

Copycat Pumpkin Pie Blizzard


Handful of ice
2 T - 1/4 cup pumpkin
1/2 capful caramel extract
1/2 capful vanilla extract
3 pkts Aldi Stevia or Splenda Naturals
Pumpkin Spice according to your taste
3/4 cup give or take Cashew Milk
AND...The secret ingredient that takes it over the top...
2 Tbsp of Heavy Cream

I'm tellin ya, you will not miss DQ with this on hand! Enjoy!

Inside Of A Peanut Butter Cup Cookies

INSIDE OF A PEANUT BUTTER CUP COOKIE

1 large egg
3/4 cup on plan creamy Peanut Butter
1 stick of Butter
3/4 cup Birch Xylitol
1 Tbsp Vanilla
-Blend these first ingredients together well in mixer.
Then add...
1 1/4 cup peanut flour
1/4 cup Nutritional Yeast or 2 more Tbsp Peanut Flour
1/2 tsp Baking Soda

Roll in to 12 or so balls, put on cookie sheet an inch or 2 apart, & push down criss cross with a fork. Leave them thick!!! About 1/4 - 1/2 inch. I covered them & put them in the fridge while I warmed the oven up. I cooked them at 350 for 10 minutes. They will be soft & need to cool before you move them. You want them soft for that Peanut Butter Cup texture. FYI... My Hubby said they needed more sweetener, but he isn't off of sugar like us. I thought they were amazing! Enjoy!

***I created this recipe back in 2016.  At that time Birch Xylitol was my me sweetener of choice.  If I made them now, I would use Splenda Naturals.***

New York Style (Or Any Style) Hot Dog Skillet

Sautee in butter...
Onion
Garlic
Mushroom
Sauerkraut
Sliced Hot Dogs

Season with ..
Onion Powder
Garlic Powder
Pink Salt
Pepper

Once heated through
Stir in...
A little shredded Swiss blend cheese
Horseradish Mustard

So this is an easy quick throw together meal. You don't need exact measurements. You could adjust this to add any of your favorite hotdog toppings. Just be sure you're using a hot dog that is "healthy". Applegate or Hebrew National are two that I buy.

You're Doing Fine Mama

You see a Mom, who's just given birth.
She's anxious, exhausted, and questioning her worth.
Her whole world wrapped up in one little bundle,
Thinking What if I fail them?  What if I stumble?

Instead of comfort you bring her distress.
You judge her choices, saying She's a Hot Mess.
"Fuck right off" is all I can say
You Judgey Assholes go on with your day.

In the checkout line with a toddler in tow,
he's having a fit because he's just been told NO!
She feels your glare, as she holds up the line.
Let them stare Mama, you're doing fine.

Opinions are like assholes, everybody's got em.
Will you put disposable or cloth on their bottom?

Are you using the breast or the bottle to feed?
Will you let them cry it out, or rush to their need?

Will you homeschool or send them away?
"That Mama just sits on Facebook all day."

This Mama drinks wine, That Mama cusses,
That Mama picks Baby up each time he fusses.

Her kids are too wild, always on the run.
That Mamas a drill sergeant, never lets them have fun.

This Mamas Organic, that one serves Mac & Cheese.
"Can you believe her kid doesn't even say please?"

This Mama leaves for a job 8 hours a day.
This Mama doesn't, at home is where she'll stay.

At the end of the day, when your head hits the bed.
Don't beat yourself up Mama, your kids are dressed and fed.

You loved them in that special way, that only you know how.
Inspite what others think or say, or glares from furrowed brow.

There will be days when we know we could have done better.
Motherhood is not a perfect science, down to the letter.

Just dust yourself off Mama, and try again tomorrow.
Don't dwell on the failures and wallow in your sorrow.

There's not a Soul On Earth, who knows what they need like you do.
It's written on your heart Mama, you just keep doing You!

Blessings!
Mandy

Getting Started

I got a message yesterday asking "How do you get started without family support, without spending your life's savings, and without going insane?"  Remember, I'm still on my journey.  I am not an expert, but I can tell you what has worked and is working for me.

Cold Turkey.  I have been on enough diets & programs in my 42 years to know that I cannot have a little sugar here & a little sugar there.  A cheat day will turn in to a week, month, year...  It's like giving a recovering crack addict a little bit of crack.  Ya know, for a treat. Just a little won't hurt right? You have to be willing to tell yourself, NO!
The first few days to month could really suck depending on how much healing and detoxing your body has to do.  HOLD ON THROUGH THIS.  You could feel Sick & Nauseous with Headaches & Body Aches.  You could have Brain Fog & be Exhausted.  This is a normal.  You are coming down off a drug.  Your body has to go through this process.  If you hold on though it, on the other side of this is Energy & Clarity, Appetite Control, Hormone & Mood Control.  You will no longer get Hangry with Blood Sugar Swings.  YOU JUST HAVE TO HOLD ON!

Keep It Simple.  You don't need to buy a bunch of crazy ingredients right away.  Ease in to it by making simple changes.  If your family is eating Spaghetti (with a no sugar added sauce), make it as you normally would, but switch out your noodles to Palmini and make regular noodles for them.  If your cooking on the grill you can all eat the meat.  Just make a side for them and a side for you.  Keep items for Salads on hand, so you have something quick to grab for yourself if your making something you can't convert.  You don't have to make 2 separate meals.  Just make the meals as you normally would & eat what you can out of it, or make a separate pan to replace the part you can't eat.

Convert...
Potatoes to Radishes
Rice to Cauliflower Rice
Pasta to Palmini

Saving Money.  Aldis & Store Brands.  Aldi has a huge selection of on plan items.  Don't pass up store brands.  Read the ingredients.  Many times you'll find they don't have added sugar.  I use Aldi Marinara & Great Value Pizza Sauce.  You'll also find many of the ingredients go further.  Especially if you're the only one eating them.  You'll also have much less of an appetite eating this way, so won't go through the food near as fast. Palmini is around $4 a can.  That seems like a lot I know, but I can eat 2 to 4 meals off of one can.  The Splenda Naturals is almost $6 for a small about 1/2 lb container.  But, it's at least 2x as strong as Sugar.  Very little goes a long ways.

People are Assholes.  What about the comments from people who don't agree or understand this way of eating?  Who. Cares.  Stick with it.  Seeing your results will shut them.  Before you know it their tune will change from criticizing you to asking for advice.

"Hustle until your Haters ask if you're hiring." I heard this quote yesterday & love it!  I feel like it fits here too.

Trust the process.  Have fun with it.  I've never enjoyed losing weight & getting healthy as much as I have enjoyed this.  You never have to feel deprived.  You can recreate just about any meal in a healthy way. You just have to get creative.  Just stick to it.  It gets easier & better all the time.  You can do this.

Blessings!
Mandy

Palmini Pizza Bake (A Souped Up Version Of My Sauerkraut Pizza Bake)

In A Bowl Combine...

1 Can Of Palmini, Drained
1 Pint Of Sauerkraut, Drained
1 Small Thinly Sliced Onion
1-2 Cups Of Shredded Italian Cheese

Press in to a Pie Pan Coated With Cooking Spray

Top With You Favorite Pizza Sauce & Toppings, Except Cheese
(I use Great Value Pizza Sauce & Pictured Above Is Applegate Pepperoni & Mushroom)

Bake at 350 for 15 min

Tope With Cheese & Bake An Additional 10 Minutes or Until Your Cheese Is Melted.