Wednesday, February 19, 2020

Soft Silky Caramels




DO NOT RUSH THE SIMMERING STEPS! THIS IS THE TRICK TO THE RIGHT CONSISTENCY.

3 Tbsp Butter
1 1/2 Tbsp Splenda Naturals
Pinch Mineral Salt
Dash Vanilla
1/2 Cup Heavy Cream

Add Butter, Sweetener, & Salt to a sauce pan.
Simmer on low, until butter is browned.
Don't burn.
You can tell by the smell when it's starting to darken.
Will take 5-10 minutes on low.

Add Vanilla & Cream. Simmer on low. It will
Stir once & a while to be sure it's not burning & to check thickness. It will be kind of a foamy bubble while it's simmering.
It will almost seem to gel together when it's ready.
Mine took 10 minutes

I used a Turkey baster to put mine in the candy mold & then stuck it in the freezer to harden for dipping.

For coating...
Lily'sMilk Chocolate Chips
Cocoa Butter Wafers

I throw a few Cocoa butter wafers in with my Lily's Chips for easier dipping.

Monday, November 4, 2019

Me On The Other Side

Every year, on this day, this memory pops up on Facebook. It floods me with so many emotions. It knocks the wind out me with the memory of where I was at this time & fills me with pride at how far I've come since then. In this picture you see me showing off a new do. When I look at this picture I see the darkest point of my life. I see grey skin & dull eyes. I see sadness. I see anger. I see hopelessness. I see despair & desperation. I see the trenches of postartum depression. I see a 2 year battle that was worsened by a miscarriage months prior. I see Mother morning her baby for a 2nd time as she should have given birth a few days before. You see a new hair do. I see someone trying change something. To look in the mirror and see anything besides grey. Some kind of life still in there. Some kind of joy. But, there was still nothing. My sparkle was gone. My Marriage was failing. My kids were anxious. My family & the people I loved most didn't understand. They thought "Mandy's turned in to a bitch since she had kids." I told myself "This is normal. This is how it is with little ones." Tired, stressed, on edge ...
2 weeks later, the bottom would drop out. I would hit my rock bottom. It was a "Bring me to Jesus moment". One that I may share the details of one day, but I'm not ready for that yet... The only way to go from rock bottom is up. I found Jesus again. I found myself again. My Husband got his wife back. My kids got their Mom back. Sometimes the guilt & sadness of those 2 years still brings me to my knees, but I'm so proud of the work I've done on myself since & so grateful for God's Mercy & Grace giving me another chance at this life.
I am fully aware of how blessed we that are my rock bottom didn't leave my children without a Mother. If you know someone who just doesn't seem the same after having a baby. Even 2 years down the road. Talk to them. Check on them. Show them you care. No Mother wants to admit she needs help. That she can't do it all alone. If you've had a baby & you're feeling the way I felt. Get help. Please. You are not alone. You are loved. Your family needs you here & healthy. I promise you, this isn't just how it is parenting littles. There is still life & beauty & joy to be had. You can get your sparkle back.
Blessings from the other side,
Mandy

Sunday, November 3, 2019

Old AF & Loving Every Minute Of It

Last night we had a reunion with a group of our old party crew from our 20's.  These are girls that we drank & danced with all night.  We'd pregame, close down the bars, & then find the after party.  Those were the days right?
As I was getting ready to meet the girls for dinner at 6:30 I was thinking about how much things had changed from 20 years ago when we were prepping to head out.  
I was putting on my makeup & plucked 2 grey hairs from my eyebrow.  I thought of how we'd be getting ready together.  Having some drinks while putting on our makeup. Listening to some good 90s-2000s Hip Hop & talking about which guys we hoped to run into.  Last night I was leaving my favorite guys, putting on the comfortable shoes over the cuter ones,  listening to baby shark in the background & wanted to be sure to be out the door by 5:45. 
20 years ago we wouldn't have eaten anything until the bar closed. We'd binge on McDonalds or the 24 hour diner, while we talked about everything that happened that night.  Analyzing every action "that guy" made & laughing about the "fucking bitches". Last night we spent 2 hours at dinner.  We ordered healthy meals.  Talked about everything from the last 20 years. Our lifestyle changes, our babies, our spouses, our jobs.  If the "we" from 20 years ago had been there, we'd have been shaking our damn heads & figuring out a ways to get the fuck out of there.
We headed to the first bar about 8:30.  They sat my first drink in front of me in solo cup.  I believe my exact words were "Oh.  A solo cup.  You don't get that everyday."  Mandy...  Snooty Much?  The Mandy from 20 years ago  rolledh eyes so fucking far back in to her head she could see her brain.  20 years ago Mandy would have just asked for a bottle of beer.  She wouldn't have given a fuck if her "Club Soda & Titos With Lemon & Lime Wedges" was in a glass glass.  Come. On. But, after a couple drinks & the DJ started with 90's - 00's Hip Hop I loosened up & pulled the stick outta my ass.  For awhile anyway...  There weren't many in the bar, as it was still old people hours, but we were still having a blast.  
We went around to a few other bars, but there was no dancing going on, so we came back to the first bar for the DJ.  Like I said, he was awesome, & playing all of our favorites.  Well when we came back it was later.  I think around midnight.  No longer old people hours so we should fit right in, right?  Wrong.  SO WRONG.  I don't know what happened.  It's all a bit of a blur but there was so much humping.  Humping the floor, humping speakers, humping, upon humping.  I think it was supposed to be dancing but everywhere you looked there were butt cheeks flapping.  At one point some 20 something guy took a group pic for us.  I said "Do we look like a bunch of MILF's?"  He laughed.  It was at this moment I came to the conclusion that we are the Old People now.  
I remembered that 20 years ago we didn't go out until later because before 10 was Old People hour.  It was too quiet & they played Old People music.  When we liked the music at this bar when we were there at 8:30, it was because WE ARE THE OLD PEOPLE! WTF!? 
After watching the train wreck that was going on it wasn't long before we decided to call it a night.   I came home & snuggled in bed with my Hubby & of course 2 of my little ones.  Thankful for this life & that I'm not stuck where I was 20 years ago.   I slept with a happy heart.  That is until I got worken up by charlie horses in my thighs from dancing & had to get up & drink some Magnesium.  Again, because I'm Old AF.
Thinking back on it all today, I am SO thankful to be the old people.  I am so thankful for the time with these girls last night & 20 years ago.  I  thought going out last night was about reliving our glory days, but it really was about reconnecting with these beautiful amazing women.  I could have sat and talked and LAUGHED with these girls for the entire night.  They've always made me laugh until my face hurts.  All we've been through the last 20 years...  We'd gone from some having surprise babies in their teens, to some of us having surprise babies in our 40s.  We've lost parents, we've lost friends, we've lost babies.  We've watched some of our kids fight for their lives, we've lost ourselves pouring every ounce of ourselves into those we love & we've all come out of it as these "No Fucks Left" 40 Year Olds (credit to Beth K for this term).  Secure in ourselves.  Unapologetic for doing what makes us happy & whats best for our family.  It wasn't the party I missed. It was those smiling faces.  These strong, kind, smart, funny, amazing women. I need them & all the other women like them that God has graced my life with during this crazy journey more than they could ever know.  I cannot wait til next time with these girls.  Maybe at a spa though, or at least someplace with much less butt flapping. 

Monday, October 14, 2019

Jalepeno Popper Palmini Pasta or Faux-Tato Soup




Crisp 6 Pieces Of Bacon & Chop (or as many as you want.)
Sautee
1 Chopped Onion
3+ Chopped Cloves Garlic
8+ Chopped Jalepenos
Add
1 Block Cream Cheese
1/2 Cup Heavy Cream
2 1/2 Cups Nut Milk
Salt
Pepper
Garlic & Onion Powders
Cayenne or Cajun Seasoning if you like it spicy!
Simmer

If making as a side devide Cream Cheese, Cream, & Milk in half.
Add Palmini

If making as a meal, add 1 Lb of Cooked Sausage it Chicken & Palmini

If making Faux-Tato Soup add steamed Cauliflower or Radishes.

Saturday, October 12, 2019

No Sugar Cookies & Icing




I adjusted my Mom's Sugar Cookies that I grew up eating & they did not disappoint! Soft & Sweet & SO GOOD!

Combine Dry Ingredients
1/3 Cup Coconut Flour
2/3 Cup Almond Flour
1/3 Cup Splenda Natural
1/4 Cup Splenda Naturals Powdered
1/2 tsp Baking Soda
1/2 tsp Cream Of Tartar
1/2 tsp Baking Powder
Dash Of Salt
1/2 tsp xantham gum

Then Add Wet Ingredients
1 Stick Of Butter, Melted
1 Large Egg
1 Tsp Vanilla
1 Tbsp Apple Cider Vinegar

Let sit for a minute for the Xantham Gum to firm a little.

This will make drop cookies.
If you want to roll them out, take another 1/3 Cup Almond Flour. Add about half to the dough. Sprinkle some on parchments paper  & on top of dough to roll out. 
Roll a little less than 1/4 inch thick.
Bake on greased stone or cookie sheet.
350 10-12 min
Til Just Browning

Frosting
1/2 Stick Butter, Softened
4 oz Cream Cheese, Softened
1/4 Cup Splenda Naturals, Powdered
Dash Of Vanilla
Drizzle in a little Whipping Cream while blending.
Add Food Coloring if desired

Pipe on to cookies, or microwave a bit to pour on. 


Tuesday, October 8, 2019

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Okra-ccino


1 Cup Okra
And
1 Cup Almond or Cashew Milk
Blended to Oblivion
Add
A Handful Of Ice
1 oz Cream Cheese
1 Tbsp Butter
1 Tbsp Splenda Naturals
Dash Of Pink Salt
Dash Of Vanilla Extract
Dash Of Blackstrap Molasses or Caramel Extract
A little Heavy Cream
A small handful of Lily's Chocolate Chips
Blend & slowly top with Cashew Milk to desired thickness

Who Run The World!? (A tribute to all the Girls I've loved before...)

GIRLS!  You know how some sayings or phrases just kinda hit ya like a punch in the gut.  Or like nails on a chalkboard?  This is one of those for me...  We all know people who say or post things to the effect of "I only hang out with Boys because Girls are too much drama."  Ummm...  Exsqueeze Me?  Baking Powder?  Back. That. Truck. Up.  This makes me cringe & breaks my heart all at the same time.
Now this is not a Man Hating article.  My love for the opposite sex is deep & true.  I live with a penis bearing, testosterone filled army. 3/4 of which I created my self.  I love so many things about the Male Species, but that is for another Blog.
As a Female, there is no greater team you can have by your side than the women that surround you. These are your teachers, your therapists, your life partners, your soul mates.  Most of us have girlfriends that have been by our side longer than the men in our lives.
I have been so blessed to be raised & surrounded by some of the strongest most amazing women in the world.  No bullshit women who tell it like it is & don't sugar coat.  Their hearts are huge & they are brutally honest at the same time.
My Maternal Grandmother lived to 99 years old, spend the majority of those 99 years on her own gardening, canning, & doing yard work.  She took pride in her independence.
My Mother, a Fighter & Survivor, can do anything from cooking, to gardening, to building, to construction, to art, to sewing, canning, to butchering...  Her survival skills are fierce.  I have no doubt she will survive any kind of apocalypse.  Her love for her family is matched only by her feisty spirit.
My Sister is a pillar of strength & grace.  She has stood toe to toe with Satan himself & came out victorious.  She stood with her son as he battled cancer.  She would fast when he couldn't eat with treatments.  That would sometimes mean weeks without food.  She spent countless nights in a hospital putting her childs life in the hands of God & his Doctors never once losing faith.  Never once doubting the power His will.  She faces every issue with you have 5 minutes to breakdown, then you get moving on the solution.
All of my Aunts Maternal & Paternal are a force to be reckoned with with.  Most are wives with loving Husbands, but not one of them as ever needed a man to survive.  They all have the capability to do it on their own.  My Paternal Aunts have shown this amazing confidence.  To genuinely have no concern for what others think of you.  To live your life your way.  To sing at the top of your lungs & dance as if nobody is watching.  To face what life hands you with a smile because there is always joy to be found.  My Maternal Aunts have shown to work hard & take pride in it.  They never half ass anything.  They do it all & make it look easy.
My Cousins.  My Ride or Die Bitches.  They are my biggest support.  They have my back.  Together we can stand against anything.  They share in my joy with every success & they will always hold me as I cry with my failures & heartbreaks. They also tell me straight up if I'm being a jackass. It's a balance & they do it perfectly.
The Friends I've had for 1 year, to 40 years, & every stage in between. They have overcome abusive childhoods, abusive relationships, losing a Husband to death or prison, even their own felonies.  They have worked 3 jobs to provide for their kids.  They have gone to college & gotten their degrees in their 30's, while working nights & taking care of their kids during the day.  They have taken care of their dying parents & friends.  They have taken care of a friends family when they've passed away.  They've lost children & committed their lives to loving every child that knows them as if they are their own.  They have given the coat off their back to someone in need.  They raise money for organizations that they believe in.  They will drop whatever they are doing in a heartbeat if you need them.  They will pick your kids up from school or bring you meals when you've had a baby.  They will listen without judgement.  They will cheer you on.  They will cry with you.  They feel you pain & joy as if it's their own.  They will tell you when your kid is being an asshole while sharing that they understand because theirs can be too.
Every single one of the women in my life are honest.  None of them mince words.  They all love fiercely & unconditionally.
It breaks my heart when women say "I only hang out with Men" because they are missing out on all of this.  There is nothing special about me to have these kinds of women around me.  Look at the women who surround you.  Think about their stories.  Think about what they've all been through.  Don't deny yourself the power of having a "Girl Team" because you've encountered a few Mean Girls.  By all means say Goodbye to the ones who don't bring your soul joy, but be sure to hold on tight to the ones that do.  You need them more than you know.

Blessings!
Mandy